It always sounds so much easier than it is to execute. Something that I think is ingrained in us at a young age is to be humble but personally the lines of humility and low self-esteem seem to blur leaving me with a distorted image of myself and my self-worth. That is why my magazine means so much to me. As I am working on myself, I hope to encourage others to look at themselves through kind eyes instead of critical eyes. So here are a few things that I have learned so far that seem to be helping me.
1. Being kind to others makes it easier to be kind to yourself.
Think of it as you are conditioning your mind to be in a constant state of kindness. This has been a little difficult for me only in the sense that when I am kind to others it is normally followed with dig at my own inadequacies so the goal is to be kind to other without tearing myself down.
2. Focus your energy.
I recently read this quote that really simplified things for me. "Don't put your energy towards fighting old habits. Put your energy towards building the new." For a long time I struggled with the idea that it took me years to learn how to be so critical of myself that it would more than likely take years to learn how to be kind to myself. NOT TRUE. It's crazy how important perception is. Don't look at it like you are fighting against the old you. Look at it like you a re building a new you.
3. Surround yourself with kind friends
This one is hard because we all have those friends who are great fun but have a sword-like mouth that tends to cut us when they speak. Often times these are the people we have known for years and they are super hard to shake off. But in the end, it is in your best interest to at the minimum distance yourself from them. By allowing yourself to hang out with them your very actions imply that you agree with the mean things that they say to you. It doesn't help you in any way. I am learning that I am responsible for my happiness. It is not anyone else's responsibility to nurture my sensitivity. So it may sound childish but if they are not helping my growth, or if they are constantly critical without my soliciting for their opinion, it's not in my best interest to hang out with them.
4. Nurture yourself
This may sound silly. But taking care of yourself and rewarding yourself actually does make it easier to like yourself. So this may be my most favorite and least favorite lesson that I am actually trying to implement this week. I am going back to exercising. I find that getting through a workout does something for my ego. But the actual work out is sooooooooo torturous. But the idea of treating myself to little things I like such as a movie (Netflix or sushi) is always fun.
This was a long post. Hopefully it was helpful. I will be posting again soon.